


Be My Forever

by Fireproof25



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: A Panic Attack, Abusive Ex, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety, First Date, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Harry and Niall best mates, Harry the pizza boy somehow meets Louis again- it was fate, Louis and Liam best mates, M/M, Not much of this, Protective Harry, Protective Louis, Zayn- everybody's crush, Ziam are cute, alternative universe, only once., relationships, use of alcohol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-16
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-03-07 20:48:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3182618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fireproof25/pseuds/Fireproof25
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Louis meets the gorgeous Pizza boy, Harry, his plans for his life start to change.<br/>He takes an interest in relationships and knows that Harry is the one he wants.</p>
<p>But when a forceful figure from Louis' past is coming back to haunt him,<br/>What will Louis do?<br/>And how will he deal with his weakness?</p>
<p>Especially when it's destroying him inside.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I.

**Author's Note:**

> Please remember this is fiction. (Not real)  
> 

 

 

"Please, Louis?"

"No." Louis turned the page.

"Please?" Liam asked, once again.

"No."

"..Fine."

Louis rolled his eyes and continued reading an old book he found lying around in Zayn's Flat because his boredom never ends. "Why don't you ask Zayn to order you Pizzas instead? Yeah.. ask your boyfriend." 

Liam sighed, "Because he's not back for another 4 days and I really miss him and I can't make him come back because that's just unfair and.." Liam rambled on, he had a couple of drinks earlier on, but Louis didn't expect him to be _this_ different. 

Louis knew that once he looked into them brown eyes, Liam would purposefully act like a pleading puppy, Louis should just give in now, they both knew where this was heading. Louis listened to Liam carry on, avoiding his eyes.

Liam knew it though, he was just too clever.

Sure enough, after a few minutes of glorious silence, Liam was at it again.

"Please?"

No response.

"Look at me, Louis." Liam sing-songed, rising from his seat and coming closer to Louis, proudly.

Louis refused to look at him though, because his puppy dog eyes will surely be the last straw. As much as he hated to admit it, he was a bit of a pushover- he blamed it on having so many little sisters.

Liam was now standing in front of Louis and had snatched Louis' book violently. Liam was blocking his line of vision entirely, and was giving him no choice but to look. Oh God, there are the puppy dog eyes. Louis felt defeated.

Normally, Louis would have fought harder, but right now, he didn't have the energy.

"You are the biggest prick I have ever had the displeasure of knowing." Louis stated it rather harshly, but he reached out to grab Liam's phone.

"Is that a Yes?" Liam asked, excitedly, looking like a kid that's just talked his mum into buying a game console.

Louis grunted while dialling the number for  **Horan's Pizzeria** blindly- the fact that he knows it off by heart is a little unsettling. He glared at Liam,

"This is like the Fourth late night dinner I've bought you this week, Payno, get a damn job."

"I have a job!" Liam hissed, clearly offended.

And before Louis could point out that answering phone calls and appearing on advertisements once in a while wasn't a very promising career, the Pizza Place answered,

"Horan's Pizzeria" greeted a strong Irish accent.

"Hey, yeah, I'd like to place an order for delivery?"

"Sure, what can I get ya'?"

"A 12-Inch pepperoni," Louis replied, watching in amusement as Liam did some kind of dance of success around the whole flat. "and a bottle of Pepsi Max, if you can, please?"

"Alright, What's your address and phone number?" Asked the same cheerful voice.

Louis gave it to him and the guy on the other end promised a delivery of Pizza within half an hour.

"I LOVE YOU" Liam shouted like a silly child with wide grateful eyes, when Louis hung up the phone.

He rolled his eyes once again. "Yeah, well you should. Jesus, You're an expensive best friend, truth be told."

"Yeah, but I know you love me back." 

Louis felt the corners of his mouth quirk up, "Just for your abs, mate."

Liam replied with a laugh, joining Louis on the couch which groaned in protest and sinked too much under Liam's weight.

"You really need to get new furniture, man." Liam sighed, returning Louis' book to him. 

"Life of a broken uni student, I guess." Louis mumbled quiet enough for only himself to hear.

"Well, maybe if I didn't have to feed _you_ , I could get some." Louis shooted back easily, throwing the book back at him.

"If you don't like it, there's always your flat."

"My flat is shit." Liam said, plainly.

Louis couldn't really argue with that, "Then quit complaining."

Liam complied and they spent a few minutes watching some x factor auditions, letting out an occasional chuckle at the failed acts, that Louis assumed, must just be there for a laugh.

When the doorbell rang, Liam seemed a little calmer, but still jumped at the sound.

"Easy there..." Louis said, in amusement while grabbing his wallet from the work table and heading to the door.

"You're gonna end up having an attack before you even taste a bite."

He reached for the door, and opened it with one hand, digging for change with the other. 

So he wasn't looking up when the boy at the door asked,

"Cash or Credit?"

"Uh - Cash, I hope." Louis replied, opening another compartment of his wallet, looking for some hidden bills. Fuck, he should have checked for money _before_ ordering the Pizza.

"How much is it, again?" He asked, looking up at the boy with Pizza and - and feeling his jaw drop a bit.

The kids gotta be a bit younger than him, with wide green eyes that make him look fifteen, which wasn't even possible since he was driving. God, he had dark, loose curls framing his wind-flushed face. He had full pink lips. Pinker than Louis had ever seen on any guy before and when he smiled in greeting, Louis saw a dimple form on his cheek.

"Thirteen pounds" The boy replied, Louis' breath hitched a little bit.

"Uhh," He said, stupidly. Letting his eyes rake on the boy's face again to make sure he's not imagining things and that the kid was as ridiculously good looking as Louis had immediately thought..yep, he totally was. _Holy shit._

He took a deep breath, trying to collect his wits, "Yeah, alright. Credit, then."

"Okay," The boy said, smiling cheekily at Louis' oblivious, flustered state. "I- Could you take the Pizza, maybe? I've got to get the card out of my bag."

Louis nodded, hurriedly and reached for the Pizza, taking it into his hands for only a moment, before thrusting it into Liam's waiting arms beside him. Liam had been watching the exchange with an amused grin, but he immediately inhaled the smell of the Pizza deeply and Louis heard him groan. Christ, that couldn't be healthy.

But now that the Pizza's out of his arms, Louis could see the boy's name tag clearly.

Harry.

"Er, yeah?"

Louis looked from the name tag, back to his face and flushed at the realisation that he spoke the name out loud. Shit, Louis said the first thing he could think of, which happened to be the truth.

"I- Uh, I like your name." Louis said it lamely, melting a bit when Harry tilted his head to the side, in question. It was kind of painfully gorgeous.

"Are you new?" He hurried on, clear embarrassment evidently showing on his face. "It's just that... I consider myself a bit of a Pizza enthusiast and I don't think I've ever seen you before."

Harry nodded, pulling out the portable debit machine. "Yeah, My best mate's dad owns the place." He explained, handing the machine over for Louis to swipe his card. "Gotta pay my way through Uni, somehow."

Louis nodded, knowingly and punched in his pin. "So do you, um, like Pizza?" Louis winced at his own pathetic question because what the fuck was wrong with him? He wasn't Zayn, but he was usually pretty damn good at flirting and gets what he wants without fail. But sounding like a total Loser was what was happening now.

Harry laughed a loud, boisterous laugh and Louis swears his eyes actually shone a bit. "Pizza's great, yeah." Harry said, still grinning and shaking his head in amusement. 

Louis handed the device back to him when it read 'approved.' Harry pocketed it, immediately. "Look mate, are you trying to chat me up.. or?" Harry was still showing both of his dimples, grinning adorably.

Louis choked a bit at the bluntness of the question.

"Well, um..,"

Harry raised his eyebrows, waiting for an answer. At the other boy's teasing expression, Louis felt himself mirroring Harry's cheeky grin from before, despite the fact that the embarrassment was still bubbling in his chest, Damn, he might be in love.

"I think so, yeah.. I'm normally a lot better at it, I swear."

Harry laughed again- his laugh was probably the best Louis had ever heard before, he thought. Harry moved a step back, nodding in approval.

"Well, I would hope so," he joked, still backing away. "I've got a few more deliveries to make before 8, but I'll see you around, yeah?"

Louis nodded, smirking. "Yeah, I'll see you around."

Harry had almost reached his car when he called out, "Hey, what's your name?" almost like an afterthought.

"Louis." Louis called back, biting his lip.

"Louis.." Harry repeated, as though he was testing the taste of it on his tongue.

"I like your name too" Harry said, with a wink.

Okay. Louis' heart skipped a beat.

"Enjoy the Pizza." And with that, Harry turned around and pulled his keys from his pocket, opening his car door.

Louis closed the door behind him, he didn't want to be thought of as creepy, watching someone getting into their car kinda was.

He immediately leaned his back against the cool door, letting out a shaky breath.

"Well aren't you smooth?" Liam mocked, already on his fourth slice of Pizza.

"Oh, shutup." Louis muttered under his breath, getting up from against the door and grabbing a slice of Pizza from the box.

As he took his first bite, he figured that he might as well get used to it-

Pizza suddenly became his new favourite food.

 


	2. II.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the late update and I'm going to try and make this into more than just a Pizza fic, it's now going to be more about relationships and how -Friends to Lovers- happen which is why I've changed the first chapter a little and the title.

  
"I missed you too, babe." Zayn whispered as Liam pulled him into a tearful hug.

God, Louis admired their relationship. They went through loads together. Louis remembered setting them up. Oh well, It resulted in a lot of laughs and.. well, it was a fun time and it made Liam get to where he is now.

Come to think of it, Louis wasn't particularly good at relationships. He didn't have much experience since he'd only ever get as far as one failed date before he realised it was a waste of time. But a part of Louis wanted what Liam had with Zayn. He decided to shove that thought away before it could do any damage.

But it was too late, Zayn had caught Louis' gaze.

"What are you staring at?" Zayn smirked.

Louis was good at being a spontaneous liar; "Nothing, It's just good to have you back mate.."

"Aw, c'mere." Zayn grinned as he came closer to Louis, they both pulled each other into a meaningful hug. Louis really had missed him, he didn't have anyone to occasionally smoke with and get really drunk with. He did have Liam, but with Zayn, it was never the same.

"Are you still doing your usual; grab, fuck and leave?" Zayn snickered, but he seemed genuinely interested.

"No, he met delivery guy yesterday and he has some unfinished business to do with him." Liam quickly replied, before Louis could open his mouth.

"Oh, shove off." He replied. God, they were so annoying. They made it sound a lot worse than it actually was. It was only a bit of meaningless fun to Louis and why should they have a problem with it?

"Delivery guy?" Zayn's booming laughter echoed in the cold room.

Louis felt offended. Before thinking, he retaliated harshly,

"Why? Is it too low for your model material standards?"

Zayn's expression changed into somewhat concerned and maybe alarmed.

"Hey, listen man.. we're only joking around-" Liam tried helping Zayn out.

"You know what, why don't you find something else to joke about? Just because you're so perfect in some kind of dreamy relationship doesn't mean you get to joke about people who aren't every chance you get." Louis felt the sudden rush of anger run through his body as he stormed out of his own flat.

***

Zayn had only just come back after a long holiday, and this was how Louis had congratulated him. What was he thinking? He was just jealous and that's why he had lashed out. But there was no excuse for them two always treating Louis' lovelife as a joke.

If he thought about it, he didn't have a lovelife and whatever he did have definitely wasn't serious.. so it probably was a joke in their eyes.

Basically, Louis needed to apologise as soon as he got out of this mad queue. He beeped a few times because the traffic was mad out here. When the lady was taking a long time pulling out, Louis beeped again, uncontrollably. He felt like the whole street was staring at him as though he was a mad man with severe anger issues. He beeped again.

When the traffic finally died down, he didn't feel like going back to his flat yet, so he stayed in the parked car- just outside the busy Mall.  
He took a long smoke and made the most out of his last cigarette.

That was when he saw a familiar face, walking out of the Mall, holding several bags. He was wearing funky, pink sunglasses that covered most of his face. His oversized leopard coat caught Louis' eye. Louis inspected the rest of him. He was wearing a Black Fedora-looking hat which sat on his half covered curls fittingly. It was the Pizza boy from last night.

Louis quickly ducked as the realisation struck him. Harry was walking right to him. How had he spotted Louis in all the traffic out here? Oh.. Louis had been practically sticking his head out of the window when he was smoking.

Well, Louis had been tempted to order Pizza all day but somehow never got round to it. Part of him was glad he bumped into Harry.

Louis needed to sit up because he was sure he looked a mess the last time he checked. He tried looking in the rear view mirror but that's when he felt a soft breath on his neck-

"Hey there," Harry was grinning naughtily.

Louis flushed at the embarrassment. Seriously? Harry had just caught him staring at himself in the mirror and he had been attempting to sort his scruffy hair out. Harry must've known he was doing it for him. _Oh shit._

Louis felt his cheeks heat up and he was definitely blushing. Jesus, Harry made him feel a lot of different ways.

"Er.. Hi, didn't see you there." Louis tried smirking.

Harry laughed before stating, "That is a lie." Confidently.

They were real close now and Harry was slightly bent over, trying to get a clear view of Louis through the window.

A lie? Oh Harry must have seen Louis staring at him. He wasn't going to deny that so instead-

Harry must be extremely uncomfortable. Louis didn't think twice before inviting Harry in.

"Wanna come in? You're carrying quite a bit and we can't really talk when you're hunched over." Louis asked politely, even though his tone was giving his hopeful intention away.

Harry considered it for a moment and then shook his head, "Ah, I don't know. I should really get going.." He seemed unsure.

Haha, _what?_

"C'mon Harry, didn't your mother tell you it's rude to leave an unfinished conversation? I _insist_." Louis was desperate for company and he sure sounded like it. He immediately regretted it.

"I mean, if you've got something better to do.." Louis killed it by making things awkward. Of course Harry had better things to do, he wasn't like Louis, he still had to live his teenage life and party hard with his mates.

"I'd love to." Harry grinned as he got into the passenger seat, he was fucking adorable and God, them dimples always caught Louis' full attention.

"So.. Harold." Louis sighed, taking the sight in, once again.

"It's Harry, where are you taking me?" Harry replied with a failed wink and Louis couldn't help but laugh because Harry's attempt was hilarious.

"Wanna come back to mine, _Harold_?" Louis waggled his eyebrows, showing he was purposefully flirting.

Harry snorted, "You ask, I come. I'm easy like that."

Oh, so they were both flirting. No big deal. At all.

Right, that was it then. Louis had already managed to get the really fit Pizza boy from last night to meet him again and was currently in his car agreeing to come home with him. This was different though. Louis actually felt different with Harry.

He never blushed with any of the other guys. He didn't jump or make an attempt to sort his hair out and he definitely didn't get a warm feeling at the pit of his stomach when he made Harry burst into a loud laughter.

***

Louis opened the door and immediately felt ashamed because his flat was a mess. There were burger boxes scattered around all over the dirty, wooden floor.

"Liam....Zayn?" Louis raised his voice.

He remembered how he had snapped at them in the morning.

They'd probably be upstairs doing what they do best in the bedroom.

"Well," Louis said as he picked up an empty Pizza box, "This.. is what I like to call my flat." Louis stated simply.

Harry smiled and Louis' chest ached. "I could help you clear it up, if you like?" Harry spoke politely. He even seemed a little nervous.

"You're a right charmer, aren't you Harold?" Louis bit his lip, trying to hide an obvious grin.

Harry had taken his hat off now, and responded by ruffling his hair and softly smiling. It was beautiful.

"No, it's all right, I'll make Zayn and Liam clean it up because I know they're all over each other in the spare bedroom right now and this is their fucking punishment." Louis was genuinely annoyed, but tried going for a light tone.

Harry nodded, amused. "What have you got planned for me then?" Harry asked, excitedly. _So_ pretty.

"Nothing at all, I just invited you over because it'd be rude not to." Louis said, as he turned the TV on.

Harry shook his head and joined Louis since he was gazing at him expectantly.

***

They watched a couple of TV shows and had a good laugh together.

But then, Liam and Zayn came out from wherever they were hiding and interrupted Louis, while he was trying to explain how his first relationship went.

"Yeah.. so ever since then, I've realised that I'm shit at relationships and I've like totally given up on them." He continued.

Louis acted oblivious to the fact that Zayn was drunker than ever and Liam was also drooping over him.

When Louis finished, Harry finally took his eyes off Louis and glanced at Zayn and Liam. This wasn't a good first impression for them at all. They'd regret it in the morning. Maybe not.

"So, lads.. I was actually going to apologise for earlier, but it's no use since you won't remember most of this and you don't really deserve it, I mean.. I know exactly what you've been doing." Louis felt like he was telling a bunch of kids off for drawing on the walls.

Liam and Zayn burst out laughing, tripping over their own feet. Louis was so done with them, like what even? They seriously owed him big time.

He turned to Harry and saw that harry was admiring them fondly. "Want to share what you're thinking with me, Harold?" Louis asked, nosily.

Harry looked a bit tired himself, he replied a minute or so later.

"Huh.. Oh it's just that they look so happy and cute together, You know?" Harry spoke slowly and deeply. Oh Harry.

Louis understood exactly what Harry meant. But now wasn't the time to make them feel good, they were meant to be punished.

Instead of agreeing, Louis said "Right, go and sleep it off.. go back to wherever you were before." Louis demanded. 

Zayn scurried off, banging his head in the process, Liam tripping behind him.

 

***

Harry broke the silence by mentioning the previous subject in which they got disturbed on.

"So, like.. I know you messed one relationship up but," Harry paused as he took a sip of his steaming tea. "You don't need to like, totally rule out relationships, I mean, you can make something work if you try, you know?" Harry was concentrating so hard on his words and Louis couldn't help but notice and glance at his pinky plush lips every now and then.

"Yeah, I guess I haven't really thought about it." Louis was tired now and he wasn't really focussing much on what he was saying. There was a fact about how you feel more expressive at night time and how it helps you show your emotions. God, Louis read such bullshit.

"You know yesterday, I thought I would have to order lots of Pizza for me to actually see you, and It must be some kind of fate meeting you out there." Louis grinned trying to lift off the serious effect of what he had just said.

"Yeah," Harry was grinning just as stupidly. "You were so funny yesterday, like, it was ridiculously cute." Harry's eyes were fucking shining. Well, Louis swears he wasn't hallucinating.

Cute. Did Harry just call him cute? Not even cute- _Ridiculously_ cute. So they were at complimenting stage then? Fine with him.

"I could say the same about you, adorable. Oh and don't flatter yourself. I was only checking you out because I was very curious as to why I hadn't seen you before since I'm a big fan of your Pizza. Even though I made the biggest fool of myself." Louis said, convincing himself only.

It made Harry laugh again though, so he _had_ achieved something out of it.

The heating had been on all day and Louis had forgotten to turn it off. The room was boiling now and Louis only realised this as he watched Harry take his jumper off, revealing a loose, purple t-shirt that emphasised Harry's collarbones.

"It's really hot in here." Harry huffed, but his tone was still teasing.

Harry fidgeted a bit and just when Louis thought he'd get used to the purple top and would stop getting tempted to run his fingers along Harry's attractive body, Harry took his top off too.

He was now shirtless perfection.

Louis gazed at all the tattoos, he must have been drooling.

There was a huge butterfly fixed onto Harry's chest and an 'I can't change' written on his hip. There were some roses and an anchor. Louis considered asking Harry, but thought he'd save it till later.

Harry stared back at Louis. "Is there something wrong?" Harry asked cockily.

God, he was a dead man. Cheeky Harold.

"No, I was just admiring the view... outside." Louis added, innocently.

Harry grinned, trying to hide his laughter. "There's no window in this room though."

"Uhh." Louis groaned in defeat as Harry fisted the air because he thought it was a big deal that he had caught Louis off guard.

That was adorable to be honest. He actually thought Louis was a challenge. Aw.

"Aren't you hot?" Harry asked suggestively, after his excitement had died down a little.

Louis was going to make a joke out of it, but his brain was too tired to function very well.

"Not particularly, no." Louis said as he looked down at his thin, blue shirt. He was not going to take his shirt off, no.

Louis swears he saw Harry's face fall a little as he was disappointed. Louis was most probably seeing things though.

How was a guy like Harry single? He had all the good qualities needed in a boyfriend and he also had the stunning looks.

Louis tutted. "You shouldn't be single, you know?" Louis acted as though his brain made sense to everybody else's.

"Is that your way of asking me out?" Harry grinned, hope filling his eyes. God, Harry must be as tired as Louis because he was thinking quite far ahead. 

"Maybe." Louis yawned.

"Well, you're going to have to do it the proper way." Harry snapped.

Louis found it hilarious. What even was this? Harry telling Louis to ask him out? Louis was the one who got asked out wasn't he? Oh wait, he didn't do much of the 'asking out' kinda thing. But he was still the one giving the orders and being listened to.

"Shouldn't _you_ ask me?" Louis questioned, seriously.

Something about that thought made Harry freeze. Maybe that was the way he liked it, Louis thought to himself.

"Yes but I just thought you'd want to practice with the whole relationship thing, maybe?" Harry's tone was serious.

So this was just practising. Harry didn't mean a word of seriously being asked out. Okay. And Harry was prepared to do that for Louis? Wow.

"So we're just practising and you're going to do that for me, just so I get the hang of a relationship?" Louis asked, surprised.

"Yes, and when you know how to be the perfect boyfriend, you can find the one that deserves you." Harry smiled smoothly, eyes fixed on Louis.

Harry made Louis feel  _so_ special and Louis was literally fighting the urge to say a lot of things right now. Things like: No but what if you're the one.

Instead, Louis shook his head, smiled back and said a grateful,

"Thank you Harry, only if you're sure." 

Harry nodded and said, "You'll be done in no time."

Silly thoughts floated in Louis' head. What if he didn't want to be done? What if he wanted harry to teach him how to become the perfect boyfriend for a lot longer just so they could act like they were in a relationship until Louis found the 'one,' according to Harry?

Harry stood up and groaned. He lifted his coat up and grabbed his hat, sunglasses and jumper. 

"I should make a move now." Harry yawned.

"You can stay if you like." Louis sounded unsure, because all of this was a lot to take in and there wasn't exactly space.

Maybe Harry knew this because he just shook his head and ignored the offer. He gave Louis a wave and said,

"You've got my number, see you tomorrow on our date at 2pm."

A date? Oh.

"Not if I see you first." Louis replied, but regretted it as soon as he did because what the actual fuck. Even for Louis, that was a cringy comeback.

Harry just grinned, wore his brown, velvet boots and walked out into the chilly air, carefully.

Right.. so Louis had a date tomorrow. Except, it wasn't actually a date. 

Correction- Louis was going to be tested on how he should behave on a first date, which seemed like the first step of being in a relationship.

Louis slept thinking of 3 things only,

Harry. _Date_. 2pm.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ty for reading. Did you enjoy?  
> Comments and Kudos would be really helpful ;) x


	3. III.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there, hope you enjoy (:  
> Warning:  
> Mentions alcohol and getting high.

**Harry's P.O.V**

Harry was quite nervous for what was yet to come, he was never usually the one in charge of things. Like, seriously? What was he thinking? As if he could teach Louis how to be in a relationship when he had uncontrollable feelings towards him that would only get in the way. In other words, he'd be wasting Louis' time.

He sat there, looking dull as ever as Nick rambled on about his new talk show. Why was Nick here again? Oh, because Harry stupidly invited him so he would stop thinking about Louis. Yes, that's right, fucking Louis. Pun fully intended. Louis who he had just met. Louis who he didn't even know much about.

So yeah, that's why he invited Nick over, he really didn't need his close mate here right now. Even though that sounded really ungrateful, it was true. This wasn't a time to chat. Harry had stuff to do... more like, people to think about.

"Are you even listening to me Harry?" Nick questioned sharply.

This snapped Harry back into reality.

"Right, yeah.. course." He muttered.

Nick looked down, rather offended and slightly annoyed. Harry instantly felt guilty. Poor Nick, this was Harry's fault, not his.

"Grimmy, this isn't your fault. I'm sorry, I've just been caught up in my own thoughts." Harry tried for a smile. He didn't know how to put his feelings into words right now, so he was pretty sure what he was saying must've sounded like an excuse which ended up coming across as nonsensical bullshit.

"It's all right, Haz. Want to be alone?" Nick's expression changed enormously. His gaze was now fixed on Harry, concern was clearly showing on his firm face.

Harry would never say Yeah to something like this because it was just purely impolite.

"I.. well, um.. maybe because, like-" Harry struggled to find the words as Nick cut him off,

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here if you need me, but I've got some work to be doing anyway." Nick shrugged and gave Harry a friendly pat on the shoulder before leaving calmly.

Right, so it was 7AM and Harry had already managed to scare his close friend away because he had been too wrapped up in his own fantasy world to even realise he was meant to be having a conversation.

This day wasn't going to go well.

***

**Louis' P.O.V**

 

"Louis, when the fuck do you normally wake up?" Zayn shouted, massaging his head.

Oh. Louis yawned and ducked under the duvet as he felt the cool breeze hit him.

"Louiis." Zayn's voice was getting louder.

Louis covered his ears and refused to open his eyes.

Only when Zayn pulled the duvet off and dragged Louis out of bed, was when he saw that the alarm clock read  **'1:00'**

Ah, shit. The date with Harry was in an hour. Louis must have been pretty stupid last night, since he didn't even set his alarm and he hadn't even had anything to drink. Maybe Harry had that effect on him. Maybe Harry made him feel drunk. **  
**

Okay, it was way too early for this. Especially since they weren't even together. It was all just practice.

Louis groaned and sat back down on his bed. 

"Zayn. What time do you call this? I was meant to be up hours ago!" Louis was taking his stress and anger out by shouting pathetically as if it was going to solve anything.

"Uhh, you should be happy I woke you up at all, lazy twat." Zayn cursed under his breath.

"You just focus on that goddamn hangover of yours, it's affecting your behaviour." Louis replied, knowingly.

"Ouch." Zayn yelped once more while walking out, shutting the door behind him.

Well, Zayn and Liam did get pretty smashed up last night, so they'd have to survive the consequences. 

Anyway, Louis had 1 hour to look presentable for his date.

Practice date, that is.

***

He had to pick an outfit yet and he had no idea. Liam and Zayn had experience with these kinda things. He figured he'd ask them.

He sprinted down the stairs and to his surprise, saw Liam washing the dishes. 

"Thank you Liam, for washing your own dish for once."

Liam turned around, alarmed. "Louis, you gave me a fright." Liam whispered.

Okay. What unusual thing did he have going on with Zayn this time.

Before Liam could explain, Louis quickly said-

"You know what Liam, don't tell me. Just answer my question. Do I wear a suit on a date?" Louis asked, really quickly.

Liam burst out laughing. "Seriously Louis?"

Louis arched his eyebrow, not amused and waiting for a response.

"Well, of course you do! Dates are romantic." Liam hissed, as though he was telling Louis off.

Louis thought for a while before replying, "I suppose, but like.. it's not a  _date date,_ it's just a date." Why was Louis even calling it a date? It was a friendly meet up.

"Umm.. Is it Harry? because if it is.. he looks like the romantic type." Liam grinned, eyes wide.

Did he? Of course, that was none of Louis' business even though he couldn't help but be interested.

"Yes, it's Harry, but he's just teaching me how to be the perfect boyfriend. So like, the first step is to know how to date without embarrassing the shit outta yourself.." Louis stopped as Liam folded his arms, giving Louis his undivided attention. "I know it sounds stupid." Louis added, muttering it.

After a moment, Liam replied, "Well then, this isn't about you and Harry. It's about how to date and on a date, you wear a suit. You're just over complicating things by thinking of you and Harry." Liam stated simply, smiling fondly at the end.

That's why Louis needed Liam.

Liam always just put everything out there, the full truth of the matter and all the necessary information. Louis needed more straight forward people like Liam in his life.

"Thanks Li, you da best." Louis teased, running back up the stairs, hoping for time.

It was now 1:35. Louis was ridiculous. He had spent most of the time wondering whether to wear a suit. Looked like this was going to take longer than Harry had thought. How could Louis be so inexperienced?

Oh well.

He focussed on getting his best black and white suit on and styling his hair into a messy quiff; required effort and time, two things which Louis didn't have.

***

**Harry's P.O.V**

 Harry decided that he would pick Louis up. It's not like he had told Louis any other details on where they were going. God, why was Harry so nervous? He needed to understand that he wasn't taking Louis out. He was simply showing Louis how to be taken out and what to do.

 He drove round the curb, beeping when he saw Louis stood in the cold, hair blowing hotly. Louis got in and Harry focussed on the road and kept driving, trying to resist Louis' gaze.

"Hi." Harry said, when there was no sound in the car but his own heartbeat.

"Hey." Louis replied, just as plainly.

This was awkward. Shit, Harry hated awkwardness. 

Harry glued his eyes to the road, fighting the urge to see Louis looking beautiful.

"Wanna know where we're going?" He asked, making conversation.

"Yeah." Louis replied with his delicate voice.

"We're going to a posh restaurant." Harry said, pouting for no reason.

"Wait.. what? I thought it'd be more like a little Cafe, ya know.." Louis asked, while sitting up straight and fidgeting a little. 

Harry took his eyes off the road and glanced at Louis. He caught a glimpse of Louis' definitely styled hair, gorgeous face and fitting suit. He looked amazing. Harry couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face.

"Oh Lou, no. We're going as a couple to a romantic dinner. All right?" Harry questioned, smirking.

"Uh. Yeah." Louis seemed a little different. A bit like he was as nervous as Harry. Nah.

***

"Wait." Harry instructed while getting out of the car to open Louis' door.

"I thought _I_ was learning here." Louis muttered, grinning.

Harry sighed, "Make a boyfriend kind of comment and stop mentioning how this isn't real, it's real until we're done and that's how you've got to think of it okay?it'll help." 

Louis looked down and Harry focussed on his long eyelashes which framed his eyes perfectly.

"Harold, what a gentleman you are." Louis remarked, in a posh accent.

Harry grinned and held his hand out generously. Louis took it, and Harry really did feel warmer inside.

They were walking hand in hand to a romantic restaurant.

Hopefully, this would go as planned.

***

**Louis' P.O.V**

Oh God. Louis couldn't get over how they were still holding hands under the table, opposite each other- waiting to be served. Like, it seriously wasn't necessary.. couples didn't need to always be touching each other. Louis was sure they were both doing this on purpose.

Louis was glad he had been right about the suit. Well, Liam had been right about the suit, Harry was wearing one too. But his tie was blue and looser. It showed the broadness of Harry's shoulders though. And did Louis mention Harry looked gorgeous and he just wanted to kiss him, push him against the wall and run his fingers along Harry's sharp cheekbones forever?

Well they were here now, so what exactly were they supposed to do? Louis was shaking, was it normal for such a confident, spontaneous guy to be this nervous? No, he was sure it wasn't.

"It's a nice place isn't it?" Harry asked, breaking the silence.

Oh. Yeah, of course Louis hadn't even inspected where he was because Harry was right in front of him. As if that was all that mattered.

"Yeah, it's beautiful, I'd be careful if I were you. You're spoiling me which can't be good." Louis tried making a joke out of it.

Harry's wide grin spread across his face as crinkled appeared by his eyes. So _pretty_.

A fine looking lady was walking towards them. She must be the waitress, Louis thought. He immediately pulled out of Harry's hand because they weren't going to stay like that the whole time.

"What can I get you, boys?" She asked, demandingly.

"Erm.." Harry struggled to pick from the menu as Louis snatched it off him.

"Well, what have we here..." Louis looked up to see Harry was watching him fondly.

Louis couldn't help feeling like he needed to impress Harry, and he loved getting reactions.

"We'd both like a chicken dippa' masala.. if that's okay with you, Harold?" Louis raised his eyebrows in question.

Harry blinked. Once. Twice. "Yeah, that sounds lovely, please?" He drawled on and looked at the woman. God, he was such a charmer.

She smiled back at Harry for a second too long, Louis swears he saw her give him a not-so-subtle wink.

Well, if this was a date; he wasn't having any of it.

"He's mine, by the way." Louis was being really protective now and it came out genuinely, he didn't even need to pretend he was on a date, it all came naturally.

She looked alarmed as she turned to look at Louis and glanced between the two of them before giving them both a rather disgusted expression.

"What? You're here on a date? You're _gay_?" She looked horrified.

The last time Louis had seen someone feel this way towards gays was a very long time ago. He was quite surprised at this woman's reaction as there were quite a lot of gays now, to be honest.

Louis shot her a glare because he hated closed minded homophobes.

"That's right, we are." Harry tried helping Louis out. He leaned in and held Louis' hand across the table this time and his grip was a lot tighter.

Louis squeezed his hand back, in reassurance.

And with that, the lady gave them both a strained smile and said "I'll be with you shortly."

Louis never released Harry's hand, because the warmth of it had felt comforting. He always felt small when people looked at him as though he was different, abnormal. Nobody could blame him, since he had been picked on when he finally came out in his teenage life.

"Not bad for a first date, eh?" Louis remarked, sarcastically because he couldn't help himself.

Harry laughed and stopped when he saw an old man holding a tray of food, more than they asked for- surely.

He finally let go of Harry's hand as he dug into his warm delicious food.

Harry smiled. "Well, at least it'll be memorable." He smirked, taking a bite.

***

They had talked about favourite movies and both agreed they would watch Love Actually sometime because It was Harry's favourite and Louis really needed an excuse to see Harry again. They had talked about Harry's other relationships and compared their families even though that wasn't really possible, seen as Louis had a lot more siblings.

***

They were now eating their chocolate gateau desert and appreciating it.

"This is actually really good." Harry commented while chewing his food thoroughly.

"Yeah, it is." Louis replied, enthusiastically.

The movement of his lips made it real hard for Louis to resist closing the little space between them and pressing their lips together. The thought of it made Louis tense up. He must have made a weird expression trying to hide it because-

"Everything okay?" Harry asked, worry filling the corners of his wide, beautiful eyes.

Shit, why did Louis make everything so obvious?

"Haha, yeah." Louis tried and failed at laughing, it just ended up being croaky.

"You sure?" Harry asked, curiously.

Louis needed an excuse now. Harry wouldn't just let this go.

"Yes, I was just thinking about how bad I am at dating." Louis looked down, acting disappointed.

God, Louis was such an attention seeking little shit. Out of everything else in the world, his excuse had to be based on him feeling sorry for himself.

Harry leaned in closer to Louis, leaving very little space between them. He spoke slowly and meaningfully when he said,

"No Louis, don't think like that. I mean, you've been incredible today and It's been really fun. Despite the awkwardness and homophobic waitress, I really liked your company. You're great and you're really understanding."

Harry was smiling softly as the words rolled out of his mouth.

Okay? So this was now a complimenting session. Louis felt his cheeks heat up as he realised he would need to return the favour because this was a date.

"Oh, er thank you Harry. Don't flatter me too much, my ego will only get bigger," He hesitated before adding on "And for the record, you're really good company too and I.. er, I enjoyed myself today." God, Louis was shit at speaking, shit at wording, shit at controlling his expression when it felt like Harry was staring into his soul.

Harry's smirk grew into a huge smile, revealing both of his adorable dimples.

Shit. So kissable.

"Would you excuse me Harold?"

Louis stood up before he could reply and walked over to the men's room for some air.

He inhaled and exhaled, fixed his hair and just stood there for a while.

They weren't dating. Him and Harry were just really good friends right now. So why did it feel like they were? It felt like there was a connection.

Louis had been too wrapped up in his own thoughts to even realise that someone was knocking on the creaking door.

"Yeah?" Louis tried raising his voice.

"Are you all right, Lou?" Harry was genuinely concerned and this made Louis feel nervous and warm inside.

Was Louis all right? No. Was hearing a very worried Harry going to make it better? No. Was Louis going to tell him this? No.

"Yes." Louis stated simply, more like a whisper.

But Harry still managed to catch it,

"Okay, I'm coming in." Harry said.

What? Why? Couldn't he wait for at least 5 more minutes.

Harry walked in casually and Louis could feel his stare. Harry wasn't making this any better, in fact, the urge to kiss him hard against the wall had just grown.

Harry walked closer, wider eyes and pinker lips.

"Harry- I," Louis couldn't find the words or look Harry in the eye. "I just needed air."

Harry lifted his hand up slowly and stroked Louis' collarbone. Louis felt the touch tingle down his whole body. Shit, what was Harry doing? Louis was going to lose control.

Louis turned to face Harry and spoke quickly, 

"Harry, what are you-" Doing? No. Louis knew exactly what Harry was doing.

Every single part of Louis' body was telling him to lean in and kiss Harry, so why not?

He looked into Harry's eyes and removed the space that separated them by leaning in and brushing their lips together slowly before kissing him hard; grasping every detail. Harry tasted of cologne and chicken and rose scented and a lot of other things.

Louis was afraid he was moving too fast. He only stopped when he was gasping for air. They couldn't go any further than a harmful kiss, right? Well it was more of a snog. Louis was grinning stupidly like he had completed an impossible mission. He needed to get his shit together.

Harry was still looking at him, shocked.

Shit, Louis couldn't stand it.

"Sorry, I'm just gonna leave." He quickly muttered and was out of the door before the words were fully out.

They hadn't even got drunk and Louis had kissed Harry. Even if Harry had kissed back, Louis was the one who started it, just because he couldn't fight his pathetic urge.

***

Louis spent the day being teased by Liam and smoking with Zayn. Also, getting high with Zayn, because he was always available for that.

Despite the constant thought of Harry when Louis left him, nagging at the back of Louis' head, the alcohol had helped.

It'd all be okay when Louis quit this relationship thing tomorrow. Everything would be less complicated and wrong. Even though it would probably offend Harry, Louis needed to stop or things would just get worse.

Tomorrow he would tell Harry that he'd given up on relationships for a reason, he couldn't take things slow.

And after that, Harry would leave Louis to it and they would never have to see each other again.

Louis felt sick because of the thought.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y'all for reading.  
> Did ya like it? Comment what yu thought and leave kudos if you liked it.  
> Might be a while before my next update because I have a lot going on right now.  
> I'll try my best (;


	4. IIII.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the extra long chap ;)

**Louis' P.O.V**

The stinging air hit Louis hard as he walked towards, what looked like, Harry's flat.

It was a fucking winter morning and he was out in a bloody T-shirt, followed by a pair of loose joggers. He hadn't planned it. He just had a stupid urge, that was telling him to deal with Harry and thoughts and feelings. The more Louis thought about it, the more pathetic it sounded. Okay. Don't think about it.

He inspected the black door and stared at the door-knocker as though it was his worst enemy. Shivering because the cold just got colder, he reached out and gave two weak knocks.

Part of him hoped Harry hadn't heard that so Louis could go back home without feeling guilty.

Merely two seconds later, the door slowly opened to reveal a beautiful mop of curls and wide, emerald eyes. Harry. Harry who was only wearing boxers and a towel drooping off his broad shoulder. It looked like Louis had woken Harry up from a very bad sleep.

\---

**Harry's P.O.V**

The sight of a shivering Louis made Harry's heart hurt. Before he let Louis' mouth fall open, he wrapped him into a warm hug. Harry couldn't help but notice how tightly Louis was hugging back, as though he was holding onto his last hope. And no, Harry was definitely hallucinating.

He welcomed Louis into the heated up room. They were both sitting by the fire in deafening silence. Shit, yeah. Harry was basically naked, in his boxers. He saw as Louis' gazed lingered down his body and felt exposed.

He studied Louis too, and only then did he realise the dark circles under his eyes, the strained smile and the loneliness his expression held. Maybe Harry was exaggerating, but this was  _definitely_  something. Questions filled Harry's mind. Answers. He needed answers.

"Louis- what are you doing here? It's 8:00am on a bloody Sunday, and you're in a T-shirt, it's winter.. Like what's that about?" The harder Harry tried to sound nice about it, the more he failed. It wasn't his fault he was genuinely concerned for Louis' well-being.

He watched as Louis' eyes narrowed. Louis hesitated before speaking softly,

"I don't know why I came this early, it's almost as if I sleepwalked my way to here. And, I'm really sorry if I woke you. Like, this isn't even important. It can wait. I'll come back later." Louis nodded while he spoke, like it made total sense to his surroundings. 

Harry smirked because he could  _so_  do this. "No, stay." Harry demanded in a rough voice. "What did you want to say?" Curiosity evidently showing.

"Oh and I'm sorry about yesterday I- are you mad at me Harry?" Louis was speaking real fast and Harry was struggling to keep up with the information.

Well. It was a dick move abandoning him like that, but Louis obviously had his reasons.. right? Besides it was out of order, the whole thing was. Yes, Harry was mad at him, because at that moment in time, Harry had felt alone and his heart had been racing. He didn't have the best sleep himself.

"It's okay Louis. Did you seriously come here to say _that_?" Harry's booming laughter echoed in the dark room.

Louis' smirk disappeared as he inhaled deeply. "No. I came here to say i don't want to carry this relationship thing on.. you know? Like, I just don't think I'm ready for it. I think I messed up yesterday, I mean.. who makes out in the men's room on their first date? An inexperienced, desperate bloke, yep. I've always been told relationships are about taking it slow.. right? I'm not that type of person and I don't think I can be either." Louis had tightened up now and the endings of his words came out as a whisper.

 _What_? Harry felt as his grin turned into a frown. Okay. So in other words, Louis regretted last night and because of that he wanted to escape by never having to face Harry again. So much for being straight up.

Harry needed time for this information to sink in properly because he needed to make several interpretations before coming to a conclusion.

"Louis, you- I never." Shit, how could he even word all this? He gaped for words.

"Lou, I'm not forcing you into this but it was always about how you would practise until you got it right. You're not inexperienced or desperate. You shouldn't downgrade yourself like that, you're better than that. You can be whatever you want to be. Then again, I'm not forcing you into anything, I'm here to help if you need me." Harry went for a softer tone.

He hoped he didn't sound like he was pleading. Even if part of him didn't want to ever lose the thought of Louis, Harry's main intentions were pure- for Louis to know he can be what he wants to be.

Louis was nodding, which was a good thing..? Why was he so hard to read? Was that a yes.. Was Louis going to do this or not?

They sat in thoughtful silence for what seemed like years, before Louis gestured to the door and said "I should get going. Once again, I'm sorry to wake you." His delicate voice made Harry bite back on a smile, which ended up forming anyway. Louis didn't see, because he was too concentrated on putting his shoes on.

His shoes were on. They were both gazing at each other. Okay, this was weird.

One question. One question Harry needed to ask. He needed to get it off his mind.

"Louis, you know last night.. do you regret it?" Curiosity was bubbling up in his chest and his ears were perking up for an answer.

Louis replied without thinking, it seemed. "No, I don't regret things. Ever, and certainly not you."

Before Harry could say the same thing, Louis replied making quick movement,

"I'll er... I'll see you around?" Louis would see him around. Right.. wasn't that was they had said the first day Harry delivered Pizza to Louis? Yes, it was. Okay so they were back to that stage. Not good. "Yeah, I'll see ya." Harry waved and tried for a smile. He also couldn't help but notice a hint of disappointment show on Louis' face as he walked out.

Oh yeah. Harry didn't give Louis the next date or time or whatever. He hadn't instructed him. They hadn't planned another meet up. Was that Louis' way of saying bye? Fuck, no. No way.

He groaned as Louis' car drove away.

He'd messed up.

_"Niall, I need you .x"_

_"Are ya gonna force me to get outta bed and massage your head again?:("_

_"No, I don't think so. Just need a mate, bring alcohol..x:)"_

_"Alright, you sap I'll be there in 10, with some extra supplies;D"_

**Louis' P.O.V**

What had just happened? What even? Louis turned through the curb sharply. Taking his anger out on the road wasn't going to solve a Goddamn thing. But It felt good.Louis did regret that kiss if it meant that things between him and Harry had changed  _this_  much. They were always simple and easygoing friends. But when did it get to awkwardness and silences? Not knowing the next meet up? Why hadn't Harry given Louis their next date? Had he really given up on Louis after hearing the points he had to make? God, Louis hated that he went there.

Truth is, he did want more. He wanted all of Harry. not just a snog. He wanted to suck him off, hear his moans and experiment with Harry's preferences. The thing that scared Louis the most, was that he would've gone there. He would've fucked Harry all the way if it wasn't for the gasping for air which allowed him to think and feel the need to leave because it was a first date.

Louis tapped out a text to Zayn and Liam while parking his car.

_"Zaynnn, get the alcohol out Im on my way home. NOW.;("_

_"LEEYUM ALCOHOL. OUT. NOW. IM NOT HAPPY.xxx"_

x's always made Liam listen, he had a soft spot for them. Louis didn't know why he thought his mood would scare them.

He was going to get drunk with no regrets; the thought of Harry's lips on his would never leave Louis' messed up mind.

He'd attempt to drown his thoughts away as always.

***

Louis had had a good night in with the lads and was really drunk at this point. He climbed into his bed and remembered his phone existed. After searching blindly under his pillow, he finally found it and saw that he had 5 notifications.

A facebook one, a reply from Liam earlier on and 3 from... 'Boyfriend' -Harry.

He named him boyfriend because.. well. He really wanted to, what was the big deal? It never changed or meant anything.

He ignored Liam's and read Harry's over and over again.

_"Louis, I thought I could help you, but I can't because of reasons. I'm sorry. I really am, It's selfish of me to do this, I know. xx"_

He hovered over the next message before navigating.

_"If you're interested in my 'reasons' then meet me tomorrow, my flat at 7:00 because my shift ends then, you don't have to but you do have a right to know, H"_

_No._ The world had proved him wrong again, just when he had thought the horrible day couldn't get any worse, it just did. Of all the thoughts he had about Harry, he never actually considered the possibility that Harry would actually call it off.. Louis always felt negative and insecure, but his feelings were actually proven to be right this time. Fuck, he was all over the place. He was definitely going to respond to Harry's message because if he was going to reject him, he should've done it properly.

 _"Reject me the proper way, yu arse. :)'xx'"_  He added the x's on to sort of mock Harry. Maybe he was being a little too mean. He couldn't properly type either, he was drunk and tired but he still managed to add the sarcastic smiley. His brain worked in mysterious ways, his witty sarcasm never leaving it.

A heartbeat later,

_"Haha, reject you? I don't remember dating you."_

_"Oh, but I do.;)"_

_"Are you drunk?"_

_"Do you want me to be?"_  Okay, Louis' replies were horrendous. 

_"So you are.."_

_"What difference does it make."_

_"It means you're more likely to say stupid things right now."_

_"More honest things you mean."_

_"It's late, why are you awake?"_  Why was Louis awake? Oh because he needed Harry.

 _"Because I need you_."

When there was no response, Louis felt like he was in a dream. He was letting his fingers roam over the letters as he typed out the literal spontaneous responses his brain was giving. 

 _"More importantly, Why are you awake?_ " Louis double texted and didn't care.

_"Because you're drunk texting me."_

_"Oh, Im not sorry that youre awake ;P"_

_"Loool, Just to be clear, i'm not rejecting you, that isn't the reason. x"_

_"What is then??"_  Louis, get a grip. He seriously had a lack of patience.

_"I'm not doing this over text Lou .x"_

_"Come here then !"_  Louis was out of his mind.

_"You're not thinking straight, you should text your boyfriend with more respect ;) Goodnight, Louis .xxx"_

_"Niighht Harold xxx..?"_

No reply. Louis would leave it there but what the  _fuck?_

Boyfriend.

_Boyfriend._

Harry never made sense and always left Louis to get lost into his thoughts which consisted of nothing but dreamy fantasies.

"Liam, are you coming for round two?" He heard Zayn shout.  _Oh_ , how pleasant.

"DICKS" Louis tried screaming.

"Haha, you're funny Louis" Zayn smirked beautifully. If only he was Louis' type. Nothing would be complicated apart from the fact that Zayn was into muscles and Liam.

Ignoring Zayn and Liam, Louis continued to his thoughts,

He'd check his facebook in the morning. He was exhausted right now, closing his heavy eyelids seemed like the best option.

 Smiling proudly, he slept and dreamed of curls and full pink lips.

***

"Up and at 'em." Liam shook the duvet as Louis ducked, dodging the blinding light.

Liam was scarily close.

"Gooo" Louis demanded. It came out more tired than irritated.

"Noooo" Liam whined. "You've got to hit the shops, we've run out of bread."

"The fuck Liam? Do it yourself. I've got all day." Louis shot back.

"Oy, Li. Get here." Zayn's voice came from somewhere far.

"Why are you all up at this unholy hour?" Louis was generally curious, he yawned, rubbed his eyes and prepared to face the bright light.

"Me and Zayn had some stuff to do." Liam's face filled with guilt.

Oh shit. What had they done?  _Fuck_. Please, God no.

"Tell me you didn't...?" Louis pleaded.

"We did no such thing, me and Liam were making prank calls to randomers, that's all." Zayn interrupted.

He was a pretty good liar and Louis had made mistakes of believing him in the past.

Right now, he would let it go though.

"Alright, you twats. Now I'm gonna have to get up, so you know, thanks for that."

He got up and shivered his way to the not-so-inviting shower.

***

He dried himself and pulled his phone out to check his waiting facebook.

_"Hey, Lou. I was thinking about getting in touch again, everything alright? Ring me when you're free. Jay x"_

Jay? Jay as in Jimmy. Jimmy as in crazy maniac who haunted Louis' past. Louis felt a hard lump form in his throat. When he tried to swallow it away, it bit back sharply. He felt a wave of nausea engulf him as he grabbed some water.

He deleted the message and kept himself distracted for the rest of the day.

\---

**Harry's P.O.V**

Okay. So he'd be meeting Louis later because he had something he wanted to say. What he didn't understand was.. why didn't Louis himself ring Harry. Why had Zayn and Liam done it? Maybe Louis wasn't so confident, which was unusual to be honest.

Oh well, at least he'd get to see Louis, and Louis had made the call to see him. He never had a good impression from Zayn and Liam and from that day when they got drunk, they seemed like the cheeky type. Choosing to ignore it, he smiled to himself and got his suit on.

The mysterious Malik would pick him up soon.

\---

**Louis' P.O.V**

He decided to wear a loose-fitting red button up shirt and blue baggy jeans, followed by a denim jacket. Anyway, he had to go shopping and for once he had made an actual effort to communicate with the outside world.

Zayn and Liam were acting so edgy, Louis had no idea what to think. Did they have another thing going on, where Liam cleans because Zayn asks? Or was it just the mood of the day? Whatever it was, it made Zayn style his hair and Liam wear his best shirt.

Maybe they would all have a boys night. They did all look pretty good.

"So lads, boy's night?" He said, while throwing a red beanie on because the weather was awful.

He waited for a response but just heard Liam's loud gulp and Zayn's smirk grew. What the fuck.

"Alright.. can't blame me for asking, we look like we've made an effort today, you know?" Louis was talking to the walls.

Zayn laughed and Louis wasn't amused. What part of it had been funny?

"I'll be off to the shops, we need.. bread did you say?" He asked Liam, opening the fridge to reveal two loafs of bread and enough milk to last the week.

He was sure Liam said bread.

"No, I realised we do have enough bread, you don't need to go to the shops.. we're all good." Liam grimaced, dragging Louis away from the untouched bread.

"Okay..?" This was so weird.

"I've got to go somewhere, see ya." Zayn grinned, wearing his stunning leather coat.

"You've got a special date and you're just leaving us here to rot? So rude." Louis exaggerated.

He thought Liam would object and follow Zayn, but he stayed rooted to the spot.

Surprising.

The day was getting weirder by the minute. It felt like a dream.

"T.V?" He asked a dazed Liam who nodded slowly, in deep thought.

God, Liam was a funny pal.

They watched some power rangers because Louis could never grow out of that, even though he'd never admit it. 10 Minutes later, the doorbell rang.

"Zayn probably got rejected for the first time." Louis snorted at a silenced Liam.

He didn't remember locking the door and Zayn definitely didn't have any manners, so  _why?_

Right, he should probably answer the door right about now.

"Yo, anybody home?" Zayn asked, muffled.

So it  _was_  Zayn.

Throwing the door open easily, Louis rolled his eyes and said,

"For God's sake Zayn, It weren't even locked."

"Sorry, I thought it'd be rude to interrupt." An impossibly deeper, raspy voice replied. It was familiar. It was Harry.

"Harry, what are you doing here?" Louis spat out and why was Zayn standing next to him, grinning idiotically?

"But- I thought you wanted to ask me something." Harry's face was so innocent and Louis couldn't help but notice, his black polo neck was covering his chin slightly.

Without thinking, he reached out to neaten it up, stroking Harry's chin in the process. God, he didn't want to let go and Harry was smiling so beautifully, Louis just wanted to run his fingers along Harry's dimples, marking them as his property.

"Ugh, get a room." Zayn snapped.

Louis quickly let go, feeling rather weak.

"Now you know how I feel when you're snogging Liam in front of me."

It was out. Louis regretted it but it was out in the open. What had he done? He'd just compared two people snogging who are currently in a relationship to Louis stroking his friend or something's chin.

"Ha." Zayn said, shrugging and barging past Louis to come inside.

Louis had figured it all out now. This was the evil doing by Zayn and Liam. Dicks.

"Lou, I'm so confused." Harry drawled out.

Aw, Harry looked like a lost puppy. So huggable. Even more kissable. Louis was glad Harry had come. It felt like home, it felt like he could forget about the constant text from Jimmy popping up in his head again and again.

He wanted all of Harry. And he was going to do his best to ignore all the disadvantages and go straight for it. As long as it wasn't one sided, he always thought. Hated forcing anyone into anything. He'd know all about that.

"Awe, you poor thing. Come in." Louis grinned, fondly.

Harry mirrored Louis' grin and stepped inside the flat they had first met in.

Louis saw him look around as though he'd never been here before.

"Don't you remember?" Louis whispered, but somehow saw Harry jump out of his daydream and reply just as quietly...

"Course, I remember everything."

"Only what you want to, but you try blocking the rest out." Louis stepped closer and looked right into them beautiful green eyes, studying all of Harry.

He didn't know why he was acting like he knew what was going on in Harry's brain. But he wanted to, he wanted to understand everything.

Harry moved closer and okay, this was definitely bad, so very bad. He watched as Harry licked his lips and pah, that was definitely purposeful. What a tease.

Right now, in this very moment, there was nothing but the silence stopping them from kissing.

Harry's eyelids shut slowly and damn, them eyelashes.

Louis was close to pushing Harry against the fridge and kissing him hard.

Louis couldn't resist. He wouldn't last any longer.

His phone buzzed. It fucking buzzed. Yes that's right, that little shitty phone buzzed so fucking loudly; Harry jumped.

Louis sighed, wanting to show how annoyed he was as Harry moved away, far far away.

Louis checked his phone and saw another text from Jimmy. Oh, shit. He'd forgotten all about that. Just when he had buried them away, them terrible thoughts came back.

The text read:

" _Louuu, we can make this work. I promise. Really need to talk.. ring me a.s.a.p?xx"_

What the fuck.

"Sorry, Harry." Louis muttered.

He looked up and saw a very gorgeous Harry gazing back at him, wide eyed and clearly concerned.

"Hey, it's okay." Harry whispered while coming closer and wrapping Louis up in his comforting arms.

Louis leaned into the hug and tried stopping the tears from rolling down his pale face. Even after all this time, Jimmy was his worst nightmare and why had he got in contact with Louis after 4 years?

"Wanna talk about it?" Harry whispered, refusing to let Louis go.

Louis sniffed, pulled back and quickly wiped his tears.

Harry looked really worried and shit, Louis wanted to tell him everything. From the beginning to the end. But who was he to make Harry listen to all his problems which were coming back to him? He shouldn't have to put him through that and like, he didn't really know much from Harry's side either.

It'd be unfair.

Louis fought the want to say yes and quickly shook his head.

When Harry's face drooped a little at the answer, Louis smiled and said,

"It's okay Harry. I'm fine." He rubbed his eyes again and ignored the answering sting.

Harry didn't look convinced but he shrugged it off.

Thank God for that.

Silence filled the room again and there was still things to say. Stuff to talk about. He was surprised Zayn and Liam had given them the space. They had set them up after all. He peered into the other room and saw Zayn pinning Liam against the wall and kissing him in interesting places. 

Louis always admired them making out, because they would do just anything and everything but still end up all over each other. That didn't seem like a boring relationship. It seemed like two chilled boyfriends enjoying life.

He turned back around and saw Harry was watching Zayn and Liam too.

"I don't think they call it a relationship." So Louis had started the topic off when they were doing completely fine.  _Why._

"Yeah, I guess not." Harry replied  _so_  quickly Louis was quite blown away that he understood what Louis was referring to; unless he was thinking the exact same thing.

"It's more like two chilled boyfriends enjoying life, you know?" Louis spilled his thoughts out to Harry's understanding face.

"No pressure." Louis added.

After looking like he was in deep thought, Harry spoke carefully,

"Yeah. I suppose people just think the word ' _relationship'_  means more than it does to be honest. Like, it doesn't have to be pressure, it depends on the people and how you are. Zayn and Liam are in a relationship that they enjoy because correct me if I'm wrong, but they don't hook up with different people do they....? So, relationships aren't as hard as they seem." Harry fiddled with his hair and Louis could listen to Harry dragging his vowels and speaking like he had all the time in the world, all day.

Harry had a point. In fact, he was completely right. "You're right, Harry. I don't get why there should be rules on how to date and things though?" Louis asked curiously.

"There doesn't have to be, why don't you just forget everything I told you and find the guy who deserves you." Harry said it simply, sighing as though the words had drained all his energy.

But it affected Louis, It really did.

Because not again, Harry was doing it again. Doing that thing where he's oblivious to the fact that Louis wants him. All of him. Louis makes it so obvious but maybe Harry doesn't want him back? Not forever anyway. Relationships were forever. Of course, Harry was 19, in his teenage life; how could Louis forget? Louis was 22. Big gap, big difference.

"What if I already have a guy in mind? He's a real charmer." Louis grinned, eyes locked onto Harry's. And seriously, how cringy was he? He sounded 13.

 Harry batted his eyelashes and looked shocked for a second. But it all went away after that and he grinned unconvincingly.

"I'm happy for you man." Harry was so oblivious. Didn't he know Louis was head over heels for him? Didn't he know  _he_ was the charmer. Fuck it.

Since Louis was just gazing back at Harry wearing an unreadable expression, he shouldn't have been surprised when he asked,

"So.. who is it?" Harry's lips had formed a straight line, which looked more like a frown from Louis' side angle.

And shit, yeah. 

This was a bit too funny for Louis to handle.

He broke into a hard, echoing laughter as Harry's face was more confused than ever.

Aw.

"Aw, Harry babe I was only kidding." He was laughing too hard to care that he said babe. Of course two friends can say babe to each other.  _No. Big. Deal._

Harry gaped, shook his head in disbelief and then smiled, trying to hide it... he pounced on Louis with what seemed like all his force.

"Lou, you immature child. I really believed you then. I really did."

Louis toppled Harry onto the sofa and before he could try to get up, Louis sat on him. Yes that's right. Louis was now sitting on Harry who was lying down on his back on the protesting sofa.

He placed his hands on Harry's arms and changed his position from sitting on him, to lying on him. He was lying down on top of Harry. Harry who was stroking his fingers through Louis' hair, cuddling him with his arms.

It felt really weird. But it also felt perfect.

Like, how did it get from fighting physically to a romantic cuddle?

The feel of Harry's warm body against his felt so fitting, like they were made to be joined.

They were both looking up at the ceiling now and Louis wanted to stay in this position forever.

_Forever and ever._

Making his breathing match Harry's. Relying on Harry's warm body to comfort him. Smiling softly. Louis hadn't felt this good since.. never. He'd never felt this good.

Before he could start exaggerating and reading into things too far, he spoke softly,

"Harry?"

"Mm?" Harry mumbled raspily.

"You know when I said he's a real charmer?" 

"Yeah..?" Harry tensed up again. Maybe Louis was looking for signals and seeing what wasn't there or maybe a part of Harry didn't like the thought of another charming guy in Louis' life.

"I meant you." The three words that Louis had been meaning to say for a while were out. They were whispered, but they were out in the open. They felt like his first breath.

Harry froze.

Shit, Louis shouldn't have said them.

Harry turned his head a little to face Louis.

Louis quickly spoke, drowning out any words Harry was intending to say.

"You keep telling me to find the 'one' that deserves me; are you trying to say you don't want me when you say that? Because you can be straight up you know. And like, what if I want  _you_  to be the one. Yes, you. Instead of teaching me how to be in a relationship, we could like.. erm. We could be in one and if I get anything wrong, you can correct me. You know? Only if it's okay with you, I mean I've just thrown a lot on you right now, sorry Harry."

_Shitshitshit._

Breathe. Louis, fucking _breathe_.

The words were still heavy on Louis' lips.

 He inhaled deeply and slowly exhaled.

Harry looked lost for words. His expression wasn't readable and Louis was panicking.

He was about to say he regretted it and run out of the room curling up near the warm fire, but that was when Harry replied,

"Lou, I don't say it because I don't want you. I say it because I do want you. Fuck, I want you so bad. I don't know, I just- I never thought you'd want me too. Like, when I got to know you and I found out you're the one night stand kinda guy, then why would you want me to be your forever.. out of all the beautiful people in the world. I mean, that's what always came to my mind when I felt like telling you. But sure, Lou. I can definitely correct you." Harry's tone was careful and slow. He talked as though the words held so much meaning.

Now it all made sense, when Harry wanted to call it off, it was really because he had feelings for Louis. So he thought it best to stop altogether. Well that's what Louis figured from this.

And yes, they did to be honest. He ended with a teasing tone which is why he received a a playful slap on the hand from Louis.

Harry was so beautiful and Harry was  _his_.

Louis needed years to take in the information Harry had just given, but he wanted to appreciate the moment.

"That means I get to do this." Louis breathed and strained his head to kiss Harry on those red plump lips which tasted minty. He did it softly and slowly and loved Harry's moan that he caused. Anyway, this was going to be different. It wasn't going to be rushed and meaningless and that's what helped him pull back.

"We won't have to rush, I promise. I'm all yours." Louis whispered into Harry's neck, stroking his collarbone.

"I want to though. I want all of you." Harry's tone was demanding.

"I want it to be different though. We do this my way, okay?" Louis had the upper hand Harry shouldn't forget that. Louis  _always_  had the upper hand in everything.

Harry shrugged, definitely disappointed but there was a glint of interest in his eyes.

Louis didn't want to, but he got up, putting his weight on Harry's knee in the process.

"Zayn, Liam? Have you quite finished?" He shouted.

His throat was hurting now, the lump was still there.

"Zayn.. Liam?!"

"Yeah?" Zayn sounded out of breath.

"Get the fuck down now. Me and Harry need to announce something."

Some hurried shuffling happened before Zayn responded, snickering..

"Your wedding date?"

"Fuck you." Louis sat back into Harry's open arms.

"Want a drink?" Louis asked.

"No mother." He replied, rolling his eyes.

Louis grinned because how gorgeous. 

"What did I do to deserve you?" They were both gazing at each other now and Louis was still new to stopping himself from doing what he wanted most. 

Which was to take Harry into bed, ordering him about and discovering his weak spots.

Harry's smile grew. "Oh stop it Louis."

"Hmm?"

"Stop making me feel special." Harry was the biggest baby on this planet.

"Should I give you a milk bottle too? And a rattle?" Louis was grinning though, which kinda defeated the voice he was trying to put on.

"Give me you." Harry smirked hotly.

"I'll give you some of me." Louis was leaning in.

"Yo, what did you need us for, bitches?" Zayn interrupted, attempting to fix his messy hair.

Oh fuck. Louis quickly pulled back.

"Zayn! Language. I've got a baby in the room."

"Is that what you wanted to say?" Liam was annoyed.

"No, not literally. Harry's the baby."

Louis struggled for words and fixed his eyes on Harry who was silently laughing.

How dare he laugh.

Liam's frown grew, "You summoned us to tell us Harry has become your baby? Lovely, now if you don't mind-"

Louis cut Liam off because he couldn't help but notice,

"Oh and Liam, you can stop acting annoyed because your trousers are the wrong way round, not so serious now eh?" Louis teased removing all seriousness from Liam's face.

Liam looked down at himself and blushed foolishly.

But Zayn was grinning fondly at Liam's droopy expression.

Whatever. Louis had Harry.

"So take a seat boys." He demanded.

They obeyed.

Liam recovering and Zayn smirking at Harry. Why?

"I called you here to say that me and Harry are- erm, well we're dating."

Nobody's expression changed.

"You told me that last week, man. Remember? You wanted to know if you should wear a suit." Liam said.

"Oh. But that was practice. I told you that part as well." Louis quickly said, feeling himself blush.

Harry burst out laughing, the little shit.

Louis rolled his eyes and pinched Harry's hard bicep, which was obviously no use.

"Practice?" Zayn asked, cheekily.

"It's complicated." Harry replied, seriously.

"Basically we're officially together." Louis stated simply, trying to avoid speaking of the past confusion.

He expected them both to be surprised, but there wasn't any change.

"Fucking finally. This was thanks to me. I set you up the way you set me and Liam up before we got together. Ah, I'm fucking genius." Zayn smirked as he lit his cigarette up in success.

Liam smiled softly, "Happy for you man."

Louis just smiled at them. They were so different to each other it was hardly believable that they were together for so long and still are.

Harry's phone buzzed.

"Hey you lot, you know Niall. Niall Horan?" Harry asked.

"Niall from Horan's Pizzeria?" Liam said, interested.

"Yeah, yeah him. Mind if I invite him here Lou? He's great fun I promise." Harry's tone was pleading.

"Ha, yeah I can imagine. Sure. As long as he brings the Pizzas" Louis was ready for a party to continue the distractions from the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Don't worry, he's all about the food, I won't even need to ask."

***

The doorbell finally rang and it was midnight. They had spent the time discussing Zayn and Liam's older lovelifes.

That Niall took his time.

He was impatient too. Louis had barely risen from his seat and the bell had already rung 6 times.

"Coming." Louis shouted a bit too loudly.

He opened the door and saw a familiar looking Niall from the Pizza Place.

"Hey to you, one of our favourite customers." Niall grinned showing Louis all his straight teeth.

His irish accent was familiar from the times Louis had to call ordering for Pizza.

Louis gazed as Niall's hands were filled with a year's supply of Pizzas, ice cream and popcorn.

"Hello, need some help?" Louis was still shocked.

"Oh, no don't mind me. It'd be great if you could move out of my way though."

"Oh. Yeah sorry." Louis dashed back into the main room.

"Bloody hell. He's got a year's supply of food." Louis said to a not surprised Harry.

Liam grinned greedily, "Good, because I'm hungry."

His pizza obsession clearly wasn't over.

"Shut up Liam." Zayn ordered.

"That's Niall for ya." Harry said huskily.

"Coming through!!" Niall ran through the room and dropped the boxes in the middle, same with the tubs and boxes of popcorn.

Silence filled the room.

"Thank you Niall" Charming Harry.

"So from what you've described Haz, I'm guessing this is your Louis?" Niall said, pointing at a smirking Zayn.

Louis burst out laughing, Zayn just batted his eyelids and Harry blushed.

Yes that's right, Harry's turn to blush.

"Niall, this is Louis." Harry sighed.

"Hey Niall, I think me and you are gonna get on pretty well." Louis stated simply.

"Haha, Nice to meet you Louis." Niall nodded. He was a cheerful pal.

"I hate you Niall." Harry snapped.

"Love you too Haz. It's just that you described Louis as t' most perfect and 'cheekbones to die for' kinda guy. Zayn matched your description. Louis does too but you know." Niall was serious.

"I suppose." Harry yawned.

That was a cute friendship from what Louis could observe.

Zayn shrugged it off and glanced at an uncomfortable Liam.

"Zayn's mine by the way."

"No shit." Louis said.

Liam glared at Niall,

"Jesus, I'm straight guys." He held both his hands up.

"Dig in to your midnight feast!!" Niall demanded, throwing them all some Pizza.

The taste of the Pizza was so familiar to the day Louis had met Harry. He hadn't eaten it since then.

"I'm just gonna charge my phone lads." He mumbled.

They probably didn't hear him.

He tiptoed out and reluctantly opened his 3 messages.

" _Louis! Reply to my texts, I know you read them."_

_"We need to talk."_

_"I know where you live. I'll come round in the morning."_

_What?_   Jimmy had no right. Louis' head really hurt now. He was a little drunk but that was no excuse for what he was about to do.

He peered over and looked at the room where they were all sat. He studied them. Harry was laughing with Zayn and Liam was really getting on with Niall. They'd be fine. A day without Louis wouldn't kill them. They'd all be out by morning because Zayn and Liam had work again, so nobody would answer the door.

He was about to do the only thing that made sense but right now, anything would make sense. He wasn't thinking straight at all and all the sound was drowned out, all that was left was his violently pounding heart.

He couldn't bare the thought of Harry without him though.

It was something he'd have to do.

He grabbed a hoodie from the hooks and some joggers. He piled his jacket on top and wore his trainers, throwing his beanie on. He opened the door before quietly closing it. They wouldn't have heard him through all the party music. He ran and ran as far away from there as possible until he finally reached his car,

He felt like he was running away from his home, his everything.

It was fine, Jimmy would give up on him sooner rather than later.

When he had driven far from the house, he wondered where he'd go. He'd forgotten to take his wallet. No money then. How could he be so stupid?

It'd be fine if he spent the night in the car, wouldn't it? He drove and drove and parked in the middle of nowhere. The darkness of the night scared him a little. Only now did he realise that his hands were numb and he had been shaking due to the tremendously icy air.

He checked to see if he had signal on his phone. He had two bars. He could definitely send a text. But what would he even write? They must've noticed he wasn't home by now.

Sorry but I'm sleeping in my car? No. He'd make it simple and quick.

He had four missed calls from Harry.

He tapped out,

" _Hey harold xx Make sure everyone's out of the flat by morning okay? My keys are on the worktop near the fridge, I want you to lock up when they leave. Stay there until Zayn and Liam have gon to work which is at like 7am. Thankyou so much I'll explain everything later. Love you:)xxxx"_

why did he write love you? Oh well. No time for erasing that.

Would he explain later though? Never mind.

A second later Harry replied.

_"No louis. this isnt fair I'll do what you said but I need you to tell me where you are Im worried sick what do I tell the others??xxxxLoveyoutoo."_

Louis didn't know the answer to that.

_"Tell them im at a mates house because of my mate, he needs comforting. x Can't tell you where but I'll be back tomorrow. Hopefullyxxxxx."_

Louis hated not telling Harry.

_"Are you at your mates house? Or is that a cover up."  
_

Ah shit. Honesty. He would be honest.

_"Harry don't worry about me Im fine."_

_"You're telling me not to worry? But you're secretly at some guys house comforting him, not telling me where you are? Oh, makes sense."  
_

_Shit._ It did sound dodgy. What the fuck. Ugh Louis was pathetic.

_"It's not how it sounds Harry."_

He shut his phone after ten minutes of waiting for a reply.

He was worried now. Was Harry going to do as he was told?

How selfish was Louis?

_This was all because of Jimmy. Somehow, even though Jimmy was far far away and he had been for a long long time, he still managed to destroy Louis' life._

_The painful memories were coming back to him._

 

_Of course someone as weak as Louis would only think of pathetic solutions and escape.. escape... the thing he's most good at. Escaping._

_He was crying uncontrollably._

_He felt dizzy as he tried to reach out for his car door to open._

_He tried breathing but his chest tightened._

_He tried to regain control of his body but his vision blurred._

_His eyelids felt heavy as they shut, and his head was banging._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayye, so I never updated on Friday because I wanted to make this chapter longer than usual and it is- took so much effort hope it was worth the wait.
> 
> Stay tuned. xD. Ty all for reading.
> 
> Comment what you thought or any suggestions, I'll reply to all.


	5. V.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the extremely late update but ever since I got ill, I haven't been able to update on this chapter or catch up with any of my tv shows. I'm basically behind on e v e r y t h i n g.  
> Anyway, here you go :)

**Harry's P.O.V**

By now, Liam and Zayn looked pretty tired and Niall had already left which was rather unusual for a guy as perky as Niall.

It was 3am and Harry was sitting there, tossing the keys in his hand- waiting for 7am to approach him. He was still deciding whether to do what Louis had asked and why Louis had even asked him to. Why was it so important that the house was empty and locked by morning?

"Alright there, Haz?" Zayn's boozed out but comforting voice asked him, and to his surprise, Liam also looked concerned. 

"Fine, why wouldn't I be?" He muttered, too tired to pronounce his words properly. His eyelids felt heavy and each blink stretched on forever. He had been drinking all night and if he ever did sleep, he would wake up to a tremendously rough hangover which he wasn't prepared for.

"It's just that.. you've been sitting there with the house keys drinking and drinking like there's no tomorrow, and like, you look really really tired." Zayn's words dragged on and on for so long, Harry almost fell asleep. 

Harry rubbed his eyes, stood up and fell back on his chair. It was too late for this, Harry didn't need to respond.

Liam's crease between his furrowed eyebrows grew. Why wouldn't they just let him be?

"You two should sleep, you've got work tomorrow." Was all Harry could respond with, the constant thought of Louis' text which Harry knew by heart now kept needing to be reassured that everything would go as planned.

Zayn just looked even more suspicious now, which didn't help Harry's burning eyes. "Right, we're getting you to bed." Zayn sounded full of energy all of a sudden, this made Harry wince.

"No, I have to stay awake. I have to." His robotic words were drowned out by Liam's biceps. He was now being held and taken to bed by a very strong Liam who happened to have pretty hard biceps which were covering his protesting mouth.

"That's my boy." Zayn's energetic shout must have reached the neighbours as well as broken Harry's eardrums. 

Liam grinned, throwing Harry onto the cold bed. "Goodnight, curly." He said in a motherly tone.

Harry pulled a face and held onto the keys in his hand like they were his lost hope.

He had his alarm next to him, he set it for 6am. One step ahead of anything that may come in the way of helping Louis out.

***

 

 

The sunlight hit his eyes as he sat up, sighing. He  couldn't focus and he felt like his energy had all been sucked out of him. His banging headache didn't help. This had to be one of the worst hangovers, at a really bad time as well.

He lay down again, drowning in the warmth of the duvet because everything else didn't seem inviting or anywhere near as  comfortable.

As he yawned, the realisation struck him and he froze.

Why hadn't he woken up to an alarm? Why had he woken up due to the blinding light instead? He had a really bad feeling in the pit of his stomach that it had all gone very wrong. 

He chose to ignore it as he reached out for his phone to check the time. 

It read 9am.

_ Shitshitshit_.

Oh, S _hit_ .

This sucked. Harry felt a pain in his chest grow unbearable as he sprang out of bed. Something noisy fell from his lap. He looked down to see the house keys.

Oh fuck. If he was in possession  of the keys, then how had Zayn and Liam gone to work? Were they even at work?

Harry had failed Louis.

He slowly stepped off the last stair and peered over into the room to see the opposite of what he was hoping.

He saw a very comfortable looking Zayn and Liam in a deep sleep, tied together. They were in a weird, joint position, but Harry couldn't help the feeling of admiration towards them.

He made some tea and drank it, still thinking. He thought about the texts which were easily formed from his mind because of how long he stared at them yesterday. He remembered that he didn't make a promise about doing as Louis said. His exact words were:

 ' _No Louis. This isn't fair, I'll do what you said but I need you to tell me where you are _ '

He never promised and well, Louis didn't tell him where he was either. So the more he read it, the less guiltier he felt. 

The one question that had come to Harry's mind the most was, why did Louis want the flat to be locked and empty after 7am?

Did Louis want to make a surprise appearance? Or did he need to collect the rest of his belongings? What did he run away from? 

There were so many blanks that needed to be filled in, they were biting the insides of Harry's brain.

Harry felt really peaky and stressed, this really wasn't good for him. Nevertheless, he continued with his thoughts and scenarios. 

***

He tossed and turned and tried to sleep before realising where he was. The sense of smell was awfully similar. It was the smell of medicines and illnesses. This wasn't what he thought it was, was it?

He opened his eyes dramatically and groaned.

"Hey there, you're fine don't worry." He heard a soft, soothing voice.

And that was all it took for Louis to figure out he was in a hospital.

"Hi, erm, how long have I been out for?" He asked the tall lady politely.

"Well, you fainted but we woke you as you're energy levels were extremely low and you needed a drink to boost it back up, however you definitely won't recall being awake or drinking anything because you were pretty dazed. Then we let you sleep, and it is currently 10am." She replied professionally, and a little concerned.

When Louis tried to consume this information, she continued,

"I'm afraid you've had a severe panic attack but you got lucky, it could've been much worse. We are assuming it is because of the common reason, stress or anxiety issues. Have you been taking too much on? Loss of sleep?" The woman spilled details out sternly as though she was genuinely concerned.

Louis shook his head, "No seriously, it was nothing- I mean, I was just being silly. A little stressed maybe, but I should get going now so if you'd excuse me." Louis tried to sit up hurriedly.

"No, I am afraid you cannot leave yet. We need to run through a couple of tests to make sure we have diagnosed you properly with the correct cause, and then we will advise you on how to make this a one time attack . You certainly don't want another one of these, because they just get worse. Judging from your history, this is your first one. Can I just remind you that you got really lucky and your conditions could have been much worse? " 

He had no idea what to say, the problem was he didn't care. What did he have to lose? Okay that was a bad way of thinking, even for Louis.

"Thank you nurse, I understand." He coughed out.

"Here, drink some of your lucozade . You'll need it." She handed the funny shaped bottle to him kindly.

"Any more questions?" She asked, her mouth twitching into a warm smile.

"Yes actually, do you have any idea how I got here?  Like, who found me and brought me here?" Louis questioned, returning the smile.

"Oh, I'm not sure. But I can find out. Hold on, I won't be a minute." And with that, she walked out of the small room.

Louis lay there thinking of one thing only, had Harry done as he was told? He didn't expect him to have because Louis shouldn't have just put that on top of Harry as he was already confused. Louis felt a pang of guilt and regret, but this wasn't new.

He always fucked up, it happened quite regularly now. Why did he run away? He should have faced his biggest fear. But being the guy he was, he ran from his problems like a scared mouse, leaving everyone behind. He couldn’t imagine what Harry was feeling right now, so many questions. Shit, he had really messed up and his head hurt.

The familiar footsteps approached him and he sat up again, curious as to which kind human had saved his fucked up life.

"So?" Louis asked impatiently. 

"Well it seems like we have an anonymous. Apparently, it was an old man who doesn't want to be thanked. Therefore, he has refused to give his name or details out. He was going for a regular walk, and he found that your car was parked crazily and nobody usually parks there, so he came and drove you to hospital. Bless him."

Louis shook his head in disbelief. "How did I get so lucky? Aw, I just wish I could thank him."

The lady grinned, "Any more questions?" She asked in a polite manner.

"No, that'll be all. Thanks very much though." He gave her a grateful smile.

She was about to leave, but she turned around and spoke, "By the way, you should call somebody to help you get through this. No matter how minor the position that you're in is, you can never get through it alone. The other person will always be willing to listen. Oh, and this is just some unprofessional advice I'm giving you, I wouldn't be in a position to tell you what to do with your personal life, but you look like you could use the company. Sorry if i'm totally mistaken. Be safe."

Whoah, Louis felt rather special. Even the nurse was telling him what to do though and it wasn't that Louis didn't agree with those wise words, it was more about how he just wanted to avoid facing anybody forever. He was always so certain that he could be independent no matter what may have happened. However, the nurse was right.

He waited for the sound of her heels to fade away before pulling his phone out reluctantly, scared to see the words in front of him. 

When he turned his phone on, he chose to ignore any alerts for his messages or voicemails, or any sort of missed calls.   


What he did do though, was something far more important. He dialed Harry's number which came under the name of  'Boyfriend.'

It rang twice before the answer. Louis didn't know what to say, and every bone in his body was stopping him from hanging up.

"Louis?" Harry's familiar, beautiful voice spoke with urgent need.

His eyes filled with tears without asking for permission. He bit his lip and shut his eyes, realising how much he had missed that voice.

"Louis I.." Harry spoke again, he sounded so hurt.

Louis tried to breathe, but made some sort of hiccupped noise. God, he was embarrassing himself. He should definitely say something, he was just being a dick.

Louis sat up straighter, rubbed his eyes and coughed out, "Harry. I am so sorry, I am." He sniffed a couple of times and it was so obvious he was crying. The unstoppable tears poured out of his already stinging eyes as he became lost for words.

His head was constantly banging, he needed a paracetamol. 

"Louis oh my God, please don't. Don't cry. Where are you? Louis, where are you?" Harry was panicking and it hurt so much to hear how strongly Harry cared for him. He didn't deserve Harry. After all this, he really didn't. But Harry deserved the truth.

Louis sighed. "I'm at the hospital." He spoke really slowly and hung up like an idiot. He hung up because he knew he would be bombarded with questions and lectures. He hung up because he knew Harry would find him. But most of all, he hung up because he didn't want to explain over the phone.

***

** Harry's P.O.V **

Harry grabbed his coat and pushed all his negative thoughts away.

He ignored the fact that the stranger was sitting in the kitchen freakily. He hadn’t even given his name. All he had said was that he wanted to see Louis.

"Well, I'm going to some shopping stores. See you later guys." He spoke out to nobody in particular. Zayn and Liam were still eating breakfast and were too hungry to notice Harry was leaving. It was unfair to leave them in the dark. They too, were worried about Louis just as much. But it wasn't Harry's place to say. After all, Louis could text or call them just as he did with Harry.

"Seriously, you should come up with a better excuse than that." The mysterious stranger remarked, cunningly.

"Well, I don't think I need to explain myself to you. I want you gone before I'm back. We don't- I mean, I don't have time for this right now. If you are who you say you are, then I'll tell Louis he had a visitor and he can arrange any further meetings with you." Harry hissed quietly before exiting the silenced flat.

He called for a taxi and waited out in the warm air. It was such beautiful weather. Him and Louis should be on the beach right now, not in bloody hospitals far apart from each other's company. He was craving Louis' touch and the feel of him on top of Harry. He couldn’t even remember the last time they were together, which was silly because it was just last night.

But it seemed like years since then. The taxi horned and parted Harry from his thoughts. He got in the car as fast as his jelly-like legs let him.

***

It was 12pm and he had arrived outside Louis' room. He was afraid of what he might see when he would walk in. After all, he had no idea what to expect. All Louis had said was that he was at the hospital and he had sounded so fragile. The thing that helped Harry walk in was the worry on whether Louis was alright.

So with that, he stepped into the room to see an exhausted looking Louis, who immediately sat up effortlessly. Harry stood there, and just stared into them deep blue eyes. Louis looked so alone, frightened and tired. But still, Louis looked gorgeous and delicate. His hair was scruffily flipped to one side and he was wearing an old fashioned hospital gown which he practically drowned in.

Louis covered his mouth with his hand in shock, or as though he was battling a sob. But he did it so lifelessly, Harry almost didn't realise as he was also motionless with shock. 

He should make a move because the deafening silence really stung. He felt sorrow for Louis, but he also felt anger and curiosity because something on Louis' face looked as though he wasn't letting Harry in, or he was hiding something big. For now, there was no room for madness, so he would save everything till later.

He slowly walked towards Louis and pulled him into tight hug. "What happened? Are you okay? Why are you here? Jesus, Lou." Harry felt a little teary too.

When Louis didn't respond, Harry said "It's okay Louis, you're going to be fine. You can tell me when you're ready." Harry was still hugging him, and oh, he had really missed cuddling Louis.

Even though he was pressed against Louis, he still felt so distanced.

He felt Louis pull back reluctantly and shake his head.

"No Harry, you deserve to know the truth." His voice was passive.

Harry didn't move.

"I er, I had a panic attack because I had been stressing out. Last night, I thought it was okay to just leave you all for the night and sleep in my car. But then it got worse and I couldn't breathe. I don't know how I got helped or found because I was in the middle of nowhere. But when I passed out, luckily, a man drove me to hospital. The man chose to stay anon as he doesn't want to be thanked. Bless." Harry watched intently as Louis reached for the Lucozade.

Shit, was Louis being serious? Harry felt so bad about the fact that he couldn't be there for Louis. The reason for it was even worse, Louis hadn't let him be there.

"Oh my God, Louis. I'm so sorry, you should sleep. Am I disturbing you? Are you feeling any pain? Can I get you anything?" He thought of any question possible to provide some soothing comfort for Louis.

"No, Harry I didn't tell you this for you to look at me pitifully, I told you to help you understand." Louis spoke clearly.

"Yeah, but I don't understand Lou. Like, why were you stressing? Why did you need to drive away? Was it because of me?" He asked, guiltily.

Louis shook his head straight away. "Jesus Harry, no way. Don't ever blame yourself for my stupidity. I don’t deserve your company after leaving you clueless like that." Louis said it as though he hated what he had done and would do anything to take it back.

"Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself." Harry reached out to stroke Louis' soft, cold hand. When he did, Louis hung onto the touch, and held Harry's hand completely.

"Anyway, Erm, I er .. well. Basically, I had problems with a friend a few years back and erm, the other day, I received a text from him saying he wanted to meet up. He was like my worst nightmare. He did things to me. Terrible things.." Louis said the words so quietly, Harry had to strain his ears.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Lou." Harry held onto Louis' hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

"It's okay. Basically, he said he wanted to meet or something. So I panicked and thought he knew all my details. I thought the only thing I could do was escape the flat." Louis was trying to make Harry excuse him for what he did, and Harry could notice this.

But Louis wasn't making complete sense. Harry chose to ignore it and be understanding anyway.

"So you wanted the flat empty.." Harry commented, bluntly.   


"Yeah I, er.. well were there any visitors or did you leave the flat as I said?" Louis asked.

"I never left it, I'm sorry I- we just slept through it. I got really drunk because I was so worried Lou, and I woke up with a huge hangover."

Louis nodded disconcertedly.

"Yeah and no there weren't any visitors I don't think." Harry didn't recall any visitor exactly.

Louis smiled at that, and sighed with relief. "Oh, thank the Lord." 

"Lou, you can always tell me when you're going through something, you know? I will never judge you. You should know that I'm here for you. I can't believe you had to go through that fear of him alone." Harry stated deeply.

"Yes, I know. Sorry again, I was an idiot to think that running away is the answer. I'm so sorry for the trouble I put you, Zayn and Liam in. I must've ruined your night." Louis looked at Harry intently with a smile playing on his lips.

"No kidding," Harry couldn't help smiling back, "what you smiling at?" He then asked, knowingly.

"Huh, nothing, " His grin grew. "Just how cute you are when you listen to me apologize. It's rather beautiful." Louis' voice was adorably fond.

"Aw, stop it Lou." Harry drew Louis in for a hard kiss, which ended up making Louis lie back on the bed. God, Harry had missed Louis so much. Had missed the way their lip locking had the best taste ever and how Louis' hair was always big enough for harry to wrap his hands around during a snog. He wanted more of Louis. "More. I need-" He panted, stopping himself. They were in a hospital bed. No, they would have to wait. 

"When can you get out of here? Fuck, Lou." Harry gasped, out of breath and shirt unbuttoned.

Louis grabbed Harry's head. "They said they needed to do some tests, but I'm done, let's go." Louis responded nonchalantly with lust in his voice.

"No are you sure you're fine now?" Harry replied just as hopeful. 

"Yes, yes come on." And with that, they both drove quickly away from the hospital.

When they reached their destination after a short journey, they were so insistent on getting in the house and under the covers, that Louis couldn't wait any longer.  Well, that's what it seemed like.

** Louis' P.O.V **

So Louis rang the doorbell and pinned Harry against the wall straight after, he leaned into Harry's body, and bit on his collarbone. He was gasping for air as he tugged on them damp curls. He bit onto Harry's lower lip hard and said, "More, come on." He heard Harry's moans and loved being in charge. He made Harry react this way which was satisfying. Louis placed his leg between Harry's spread open thighs, and kissed him hard against the brick wall, he squeezed Harry's hip and whispered, "Glad to be back, babe." 

He was too busy experimenting with Harry's amazing body to realise that the door had opened and they were now being watched. 

"Ahem." came a cheery, familiar noise.

Louis froze. He pulled away from Harry who tugged Louis back in, but Louis ignored. He looked at the figure standing in the doorway of his flat. On the man's pale face, an evil smirk was plastered along with a side swept mop of styled hair. His green eyes were making shivers run down Louis' body. He was dressed in a black shirt which hugged the shape of his body, followed by a pair of loose joggers.

Louis gaped as he inhaled through the information. He was staring back at his ex, Jimmy Hartwell. He was exactly the same. His appearance hadn't changed in the slightest. He still wore a crooked smile which was more of a smirk and he still had the dark circles under his eyes.

Why hadn't Harry told him?   


He looked from Harry to his ex, Jimmy.

Still in shock, Louis stood motionlessly.

But Jimmy seemed jealous and amused. He had just seen Louis making out with Harry against a wall. What a lovely way to greet his ex.

For some reason, Louis felt exposed, embarrassed and scared. Yes, out of all things, he felt scared. He couldn't run away this time. But he had Harry.

"Well, you're kissing skills have definitely improved." Jimmy teased, but his voice made Louis' chest ache as though he was suffocating. No... he wouldn't let Jimmy get to him again. It was bad for his health and shit, Harry was watching with so much focus.

"Wait, were you two-" Harry shook his head in disbelief as the words poured out of his mouth.

"No. We weren't. Jimmy knew one of my exes and he's an old mate. I don't know what he's doing here, but I do know that he has to leave right now." Breathe. This was one of the many lies Louis had told today.

Jimmy stood there, his posture awfully bent as he glared at Louis. "Right lads, I'll see you tomorrow." He smirked and walked away from the driveway. 

It was dark so Louis couldn't read Harry's expression properly. They should probably go inside. Louis felt tense, he could still feel Jimmy's stare on him; glaring at him in disgust and pity.

They went inside and it felt so much like home. Louis was more than happy to be back. Even though it had only been one night, he really missed it. He had no idea where Zayn and Liam were, but he really wanted to see them right now.

Harry's lips were still forming a thin line. "Harold, it's okay. We both have questions and we'll get through everything, I promise." Louis bit back the truth. He didn't know what the harm was in Harry knowing. Louis would explain later, or at least he thought he would.

Harry smiled but it didn't seem real. Louis shut his eyes and ignored it. He walked over to the main room and saw Zayn and Liam watching TV on their usual, creaky couch.

Louis coughed to imply his presence. Zayn saw and ran over to Louis, he hugged him tight. "Never do that again, you twat."

Louis hummed in agreement.

Liam also stood up and said, "Seriously Louis? What were you thinking mate? Were you even thinking at all? You may not tell us the details if you don't wish to, but believe me, if this is because of a person, I can sort them out for you. If not, then I hope you get well soon." He came closer to Louis and pat him on the shoulder in a friendly manner.

Liam didn't do hugs much. Instead, he did the sweet talk. "No it's not because of anybody. I'm fine ha , you act like I'm from the mental institute. Just had a few bad thoughts. We all regret things.. and well, now my list of regrets has grown. Sorry to all of you for putting you through that shit. I really fucked up. So, I am sincerely sorry." Louis announced, satisfied by everyone's responses.

When he turned around, Liam asked, "Where do you think you're going?"

Louis grinned and replied, "Me and Harry have some unfinished business to attend to." That would probably get the point across to Liam, since he'd used that excuse for his quick sex all the time. 

Louis turned around to see Liam blush evidently. He howled with laughter and grabbed Harry before leaving to go to the bedroom .

***

Even though the taste of Harry was so good, and Louis wanted more and more, he couldn't help but feel like Jimmy was watching over them creepily the whole time..

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S-I have no knowledge or experience with panic attacks and I know they are minor things. I used it and turned into something big because I thought it would be convenient. This has nothing to do with how it is treated in real situations, and I know people don't usually get diagnosed and taken to hospital for it. But let's just say it's the first thing that came to mind and I wanted a worried Harry scene to show how much he cares.
> 
>  
> 
> Leave comments :)


	6. MUST READ

**A/N**

Hello readers, it's been a while..  
I can now actively update this fanfiction weekly by making it my main priority, but only if I know it is worth the time and effort.  
Therefore, i would appreciate it if you left kudos and comments to show you want me to update..  
Depending on my comments, I will continue with the fic.  
Get commenting :) x  
Thankyou for all the support and patience.

**Author's Note:**

> Ty for reading :)  
> Hope you enjoyed. Comments and Kudos<3


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